When Stanley was 14 he was invited to a party by a popular girl in his school. Things did not go well. I won’t go into all the details, but it was bad… all the kids at the party standing in a circle pointing and laughing at him bad… In the following years, after subsequent failed attempts at socializing Stan just gave up, and took a dislike to parties, and the people that throw them. And go to them. Or talk about them.
He, as the saying goes, threw himself into his work. He had a natural gift for math, yet deep in his heart he longed for romance – the romance he would never have – so he fell, like many in his situation, into physics. Physics attempts to explain both the unexplainable and the natural movement of the natural world, much like poetry. He studied hard, got a scholarship to MIT and got his Doctorate a full two years early. His final thesis on Einstein’s theory was lauded throughout the physics world, yet still. Stanley never got over his anti-social streak. He ended up back living in his parents basement after college, taking a mediocre IT job with a local company, where he had little interaction with people, going in at night and preforming backups and system upgrades in the wee hours.
With his computer knowledge and the office relatively to himself, he sometimes logged into people social network sites (he didn’t have one – no one would have friended him). The pictures of parties and people having fun were overwhelming and threw him into strange frenzies. He would storm around the office ranting. More and more frequently these heightened feelings would stay with him after he left work and went home, to his basement.
One morning, as was often the custom when he arrived home, his mother would ask him if he wanted dinner. He grumbled a yes and sat down at the table while his mother served him leftover leatlof from yesterdays dinner. She, as mothers will, asked him in a sing song voice. “How was work last night dear?”
“It was fine mom.” he lied.
“Christmas is coming up dear, so you want anything in particular form Santa this year?”
“No mom.”
“And then New Years is right after! You should fine yourself a party to go to and have some fun. You know – I don’t think I ever told you this – but your Father and I would never have met if it wasn’t for a New Years Eve party. You see… my friend Jackie – you remember Jackie don;t you dear? Well she had a friend named Betty – Betty Maker – and Betty had a friend named…
His mother went on with her long winding story Stanley fumed. He ate his meatloaf and fumed. He ate his mashed potatoes and green beans and he fumed. Then he excused himself and went into the basement. His head was swimming and swimming with thoughts. He rolled his blackboard to the middle of the room and started doing equations. Sometimes this would clear his mind, but tonight his train of thought was so strong that the equations focused his attentions of New Years Eve and the parties he knew would happen without him. He focused on how to stop them from happening. He stood at the blackboard for eight hours straight – a personal record – and then exhausted, stepped back and looked at the board…. he couldn’t believe what he saw. He re-checked and re-checked again. “Holy Schmogogie!!” he exclaimed. I think… I think I can do it!
He set off to the local electronics “Shack” store and bought a series of wires and transformers and adapters. It was early day after Christmas morning and he had the store practically to himself. A salesgirl of indiscriminate age was helping find the items.
“I really didn’t even know we had some of these.” she said, opening a drawer of diodes in the less trafficed aisle of the store.
“Well – I could have taken a computer apart to get them, but it seemed easier to come in.”
“Yeah. Easier. What are you going to do with these things?”
“Ummm… I really shouldn’t say.”
“Wooookay…. you aren;t building bombs are you?”
“Ha. No – well… not really… it’s complicated.”
“Here it is,” she said, holding up a 5 pack of 1 amp diodes. “Well , was that is or was there something else?”
Stanley took a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and went down the list with his finger. “Do you have a cyclotronic phase reactor?”
“Right next to the remote control helicopters.”
“Really?”
“No. I don’t even know what a phase-o-tronic whatsamawhosie is. ”
“It’s like an advanced magnetron. I will have to take apart the microwave to build it I guess… . I am going to make a machine that can skip time. So New Years Eve will be skipped.”
“Cool. Wait. You mean for everyone?”
“No. Yeah. I am not sure really. Probably. I don’t know really.”
“Hmm… I wonder if I will still get a hangover?”
“Good question. I guess it depends on how much you drink.”
“And if your time-skipper skips me to the next day.”
“I guess.”
“I don’t really drink enough to hangovers.”
“Oh. Me neither.”
It suddenly occurred to Stanley that he might be flirting. That what he was experiencing was an extended period of interaction between two people that became casual… personal even. Wasn’t that flirting? He looked up from his list and into the girls eyes. She was looking at him. His eyes stared into hers… lowered slowly to her beautiful…
…name tag. “Betty” it said. He felt his face get flush. “I think that will be everything.” he said.
“Okay,” Betty said, moving towards the cash register. She could feel his nervousness and, being new to the job and a little nervous herself, she rung him up and he left.
She had almost forgot about him. As the days after Christmas turned busy with shoppers, and here she was learning the new quirks and intricacies of the job. You would not even believe the amount of people that need electronics.
Although new in town she was invited to a party that one of her coworkers was throwing. She wasn’t much of a ‘partier’, so at first she said no, but her coworker, Sally, had talked her into it. It would be pretty mellow, she said, her husband and her friends weren’t ‘party animals’ or anything like that. They would probably end up playing charades or something – at the very most one bottle of champagne might be opened. So she said yes. She was going through the closing rituals at the store, and as if for the first time allowed herself to get excited about enjoying a night out, when she remembered that guy who had come in early on the day after Christmas and bought the diodes. “Oh!” she exclaimed aloud. “If he was successful making his… thingamawich…then I won’t even know if I have fun tonight!”
She looked through the computer for the transaction and got his name and address, and drove over to his house. His mother answered the door, and seem very very surprised to see her, but indeed let her in, offered her meatloaf and fresca, and then showed her to the basement door. “Stanley is down there.” she said.
She went downstairs and could not believe her eyes. Stanley was hunched over a large device festooned with wires and lights and gadgets. He was soldering something, wearing safety glasses.
“Stanley?”
“What mom?” he said absently.
“I’m not… mom.”
He looked up, his eyes became wide. “Betty!” he said. Then he jumped up, yelling “Ow! Ow ow ow ow!” He rushed to the workbench. Betty rushed to his side.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah… ow!” he stuck his finger in his mouth for a second and said, “Wi-juss-burrliill.”
“Huh?”
He popped his finger out of his mouth and said, “I just burned it a little. Nothing bad. What are you doing here?”
“Well… I was thinking about tonight. I got invited to my friends house and I was thinking that it might be fun, and then I remembered you… and your device…. I didn’t want to miss the party Stanley.. I really want to go and not skip over it… ” Her head turned toward the device. “And this… wow… so this is what diodes and magnocyclers look like all welded together huh?”
“Soldered. Yeah.” he walked up to it. “I ran a preliminary test on the temporal mediators, I think it should be good to go, as the kids say.”
“Stanley… can I ask you something?”
“Why do you want to skip New Years Eve? Or make it skip or whatever?”
“I hate parties. There’s always so much… well… I haven’t gone to one in a long while…”
“Why don’t you come with me to my party? I think it will be pretty mellow, you know, like charades and whatever. Just some people from the store, so they might know about capacitrons or whatever.”
“But.. what about my device? I was just about to start it up! Once I route the power from the servers in the corner I think there are only 5 or 6 steps, and then BAM! It will be tomorrow!”
“But I like right now. And I think I will like later too. I like all the times Stanley, that pass, even the rough ones and hard ones and long ones and boring ones. All the moments that go by… well… that makes us into who we are… right?”
“Yeah… I guess… but I think this machine can open slipstreams into temporal reality. I think it can have far reaching… you know.. ramifications!”
“That’s nice and all… but… listen… you don’t have to come if you don’t want to… but I think it will be fun. You seem like a nice enough person when you aren’t trying to escape life… so I’ll make a deal with you. You come with me to the party, and if you don’t like it you can leave, and flip the switch on your device here, and skip time over for as long as you like… but first… you should just give the party a try… I think it will be fun.”
He stood looking at Betty and turned things over in his mind. “Okay.” he said, “I’ll go with you.”
“Great!” she smiled.
“But if I don’t like it I will come here and skip ahead to next New Years Day… a whole year!”
“Okay… ” she said, rolling her eyes. “Deal.” she stuck out her hand and Stanley took it, They stood there for a second shaking hands slowly for a second and looking into each others eyes. Then Betty said. “Come on. Let’s go!”
And that is what they did.
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Somewhere in the North Pole, Santa was snoozing in his easy chair, another year under his belt. And elf came rushing into the room, startling him awake. “Rummhhp… ahem.. yesss.. what is it Bimbley?”
“We just got this memo form the Northern Quadrant sir – those situations you were wondering about… ” Bimbley handed his the note, “looks like they’re going to work out for the best….”
“Ho ho ho! Of course it is Bimbley! Of course… some gifts arrive a little slower then others.”
“Yes Santa. Well Good night!”
“Good night to you too Bimbley – good night to all of us!”
“Will you be joining the Elves for the New Years Party Santa?”
“Oh no Bimbley… I’ve learned my lesson. You elves are too much on Old Saint Nick.”
“Well okay Santa. Happy New Year!”
“Happy New Year to us all Bimbley! Happy New Year to us all!”
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Thanks for reading!
Michael Nedell
michael (at) vermontsnows.com